珍惜·感恩

今早一切看起来不过是平凡的一个星期天早上

面子书的墙上突然看到一则朋友的post “妈妈一路走好，我爱你”

震撼

前几天的晚上和一个网友聊天

本来是和平时一样的

突然一句话“我妈妈的癌症了，是第三期”

心痛

这年头，战乱不断，社会也很乱

但是，也许在我们还没有等到世界末日那一天时

我们根本没有想过

最痛的是自己爱的人、爱自己的人

在没有预期的情况下离开

灾难人祸，就算是全人类灭亡

最痛的是没法很爱你的人说一句“我也爱你、谢谢你”

 佛说生老病死乃人生常态

既不能逃脱常态    感恩惜福变得比一切还重要

到现在我还不敢跟妈妈说我爱她

到现在我还不敢给爸爸一个拥抱

到现在我还不能专心的跟姐姐说一声谢谢你

到现在。。。对不起，对你们的爱我是那么的无法开口

唯有好好的做好自己、对你们我愿意付出一切

其实说不出，我会用行动来证明，我爱你们

我要好好的听你们说话

即使有时难听我也不会怪你们


我相信   我会是让你们骄傲的人

也许现在真的没办法让你们有一切的保障，也不能实现一些你们想做但是没钱做的事

也许有太多的也许

我心与你  我愿无穷  感恩惜福再造福

天佑我的家人  只要我一息尚存就会为自己也为你们努力

感恩

hey, listen there you crazy mind

The only reason we feel bored about life is because we did not go to find out the excitement of life
Too often boredom is because we stay on something for too long until we forgot the purpose and meaning behind
Until we are losing balance in our life
Until we find ourselves sacrificing so much for a thing we cannot see the result after spending much time

Are you losing the focal point?

Calm down, control your breath
To appease your already messy mind is your prior task
Quiet down your voice, including those in virtual chatbox
And tune in some soothing piano, have some light drink

Who says life have to be so complicated, you've made it that way
Do you cherish your life at the moment?
When you are all focus on career and money, worried and hesitated, have you forgotten
about the beauty of life?
Career is supposed a way you can gain sense of accomplishment, for life
not a pressure vessel that pressurized you

Life is not easy to survive, but living out the best you can then you will feel happy
If making money makes you feel happy, then go ahead do it
If doing engineering stuff makes you feel happy and accomplished, then do it
It should not be another way round, that way you forced yourself to somewhere you think you'll feel happy
even though it might not be as good as others
your life is your life, should not be compared
Supposed you live in this world of competition, you cant escape from being evaluated by people
You cant escape the up and down of getting acknowledge or criticize
These are reality, which might be deadly if you choose to view it negatively
All competition cannot escape from comparison with others
But you have to remember the very first rule
be yourself and always work to be a better one you want to be

You are Free
You are Simple
You are Passionate
Then you are living the amazing way


Now breath in again, it's a new day 


with love,
kayne

the road not taken

So it's May now, the 10th month I have worked for my current employer
A lot of things has come to mind, a lot of opportunities come and go
And of course, eventually a lot of thoughts has grown, mature gradually

I remembered i was one a very impatient boy
i give up easily when i did not get to achieve whatever i want to achieve

I remembered myself as a uncommitted boy
wanting to get something but did not truly put in effort long enough


I remembered I was at the extreme of low-self esteem
living in so much fear, worry,doubt and yet try to cover up my interior complexity and behave in pseudo-superiority


I remembered I used to be too calculative and have a narrow heart
cannot accept the little givings to people other than friends and feeling hard after being thrown with nasty words from others

now only i realized, and start to get the right track in my life
being patient, as my targets might not achieved immediately
being committed, as targets without real effort and pain is just an empty talk
being positive and confident, as these moves us on and not wasting my time
being generous and open mind, as giving more is a real fortune and the real way of getting true happiness is taking mistakes and uncertainties as growing chance

all these repeated in my mind, and i still need to remind myself of these sometime
these are not crap, not ideal, not empty talk
for times i will still fall and doubt, but again i remind: go on, there's a better way


Now i am at the cross road again
the decision is tough as usual
my values are being tested, whether money is more important or the job scope or the future prospect
I need to think again and again, i still think money looks the most tangible return
but from a FB post of my fren i was reminded the importance of challenging ourselves from our comfort zone
Can i totally abandon my desire of money? 
certainly no, but money can be earned if i'm valuable
and values only come from adversity, uncertainties

"Just do your best to be the best of you can, let excellence follows u"





With love, 
Kayne