Review, a peaceful night

Argh, isn't that I said I wanna post up my tenth post before year 2011, looks like i failed!

I just got so much feeling after reading a blog of my friends, to summarise my year 2010 which is just 2 days left from now.

Year 2010, a year full of story to me

Jan & Feb- Busy with plant design, i was very lackadaisical with my team mates at first and time just passed at lighting speed within these 2 months with so many works from that single subject. Class schedule was the most empty in my 4 years, yet it was full of meeting meeting and meeting all the time, boring somwtime! Anyway, been to DongChanXi in Jenjarom with my dearest coursemates during CNY, I treasure it so much as that was the last trip we can be together (i knew it!) And few of us also went to sunway singK, yes that is the last time we sang together too.



Mac &  Apr- Meeting reached its peak season during this period, almost crazy looking at the calendar and the snail progress of our work. Some coursemates starts to plan their job after graduation, well, i did but it all turned out to be nothing. Last week of our days in UTM, we made the once and ever photo session for us and snapped some precious photos together....."the more we get together, together together, the more we get together, the merrier will be"......althought it rained heavily that day and we cant get to other place than fkkksa,  we were still happy shooting. Tht's the spirit of my dear coursemates, acting always, loving always, sharing the happiness always, and laugh whenever we get together! Miss you guys, tht puts a stop to our life in UTM after 4 years living together!



May & Jun- May is the most beautiful month so far in my life coz i finally made it to Taiwan! it was definitely an unforgettable one! afterall it was finally a long break from university, and most meaningful part of this trip is that we planned it since early of this year (it nearly dies initially, luckily it didn't), and this trip is amazing coz we really made full use of every seconds we had there, packed but just feel satisfied with that first self-planned oversea trip!



Jun & July- Well, back to normal life. Reality is cruel, sat at home looking for job isn't really a good time.I read papers every weekends, chat with friends about job opening in msn, surf job recruitment site all the time, making trips here and there for interview....Days are counted like years, really suffering!I helped out at my parents stall, thinking that i should treasure my time at home but my parents certainly more anxious than me seeing me unable to get myself employed. I defend my stand, for that i want is to find a job i like but then i was always bombard by so much pressure and it ends up in arguement with them. I really feel that they don't know what i want and honestly I even hate them forcing me to simply go for any job and i made noise to them. And they keep quiet from then, but it turned me into all kind of guiltiness this time. When I think back, i also never think from their point of view, how can i only think of myself? Mid of july, i got my current job. A job which I don't really like but understanding the situation now, i go for it until now. I know what drives me in work now is financial support to me and some to my parents, as i knw their job is 10 times more tiring than mine. I should be thinking of them too, not just about me alone.



Aug- Sept- My first birthday with no celebration from anyone, feel a bit sad but that i guess that is gonna repeat until i got someone willing to accompany me as a partner, so i gotta enjoy it also. for my work, well, underwent some adversity which I cannot handle my boss and colleagues well. And more people left one after one from my work place, making me even doubtful of myself. nevertheless, life still goes on, i didn't manage to do anything with it eventhough i did tried sometime. the big event in Sept - my convocation! after 4 years, no, it should be after 17 years of education, I've finally step up on the stage and complete my Degree...I remembered every moment in the iskandar hall, especially when there were bubbles flying in air and the joyous songs with unknown title, wow! and i nearly burst into tears at that moment when i got the scroll at stage! After that, my journey in utm was drawn to an official end.



Sept-Oct: Argh, life's getting more and more boring and hostel was getting emptier as more people left for other jobs. For several times when i walk back alone amongst the crowd of foreign workers, i really wanna shout out: why am i here?! anyway after much adjustment in myself, i started get the hook on my job, so everything still wtihin my control so far. Weekends were the most awaiting time coz there will always be outing to malls, visiting friends and sister, or back hometown, yeah! Oh ya, that was also the time i got to know a guy in facebook who inspire me a lot with his blog, and from then i list out my list of dreams. Life will been never the same when you have something to pursue =)


Nov- Dec: Nov been going on a short tour to Ipoh, had a lot of fun there! Nice food, nice stay, fresher air, new train and of coz, good friends around made the trip perfect! As for X'mas, I brought my family for outing for the first time! it was not the best one and a bit unorganized since it was my first time i went to those place too, but what I felt is that i really miss my home and my parents ever since i started to work, it has never been like this before!!! thts why i really treasure tht short trip, and i was glad i finally can pay for a decent meal for family with my own money, wink !

Today I just hand up my evaluation form for confirmation, it marks the end of this year but why I wan not so happy with it?? and to mark it more saddening, I lost my new handphone out of carelessness yesterday, and been emo-ing the whole night before. And the kind of strange feeling arise again and again, honestly I'm not expecting anything in year 2011, why? What is missing in my heart actually?


Year 2011 is sure gonna be a year much tougher for me, and many decisions i need to make, many risk i need to take and more responsibilities i gotta bear. May God bless me with all the strength and I'll put myself at higher peak in my life next year! =)

With love,
Ken

those which doesnt kill makes us stronger!

i was listening to hebe's new song, struck by a line in the song 死不了 就还好
n i tot of wat melissa once wrote in facebook comment : those which doesnt kill makes us stronger!!
wat a stunning phrase
once inject this to your heart when you are weak, u will feel alive again!

X X X X X X


Few days ago i was chatting with a fren via msn
only to knw about her predicament, whc was surprising cos she never mentioned to me (maybe we r not very close before, lol)
but luckily she already pull thru it, which i think isnt easy
being a lone ranger can be difficult to stay motivated all the time
especially everything, everyone around seem so discouraging to you
you cried everyday, wake up with fear of facing a new day
it's understandable, coz i've been there before, being engulfed by emotion, live in darkness
i admire her courage, to cry to let out the bad emotion
and to find ways to handle her emotion better, n of cos that helps her to keep her job done better
finding her passion to LIVEmas a true soul

X  X X X X X

i always think crying is not a bad way to release your fear, your sadness
take it positive          crying isnt a sign of weakness
as i believe we see clearer after we cry
take it positive          thats the side of fence where i choose to stand by
those who scolded u make u having better tolerance with evil tougue
those who fails you makes be more prepared next time
those that annoys you now make u realised what and who you really cherish in your life


Let go if you dun feel it belongs to you, hold tight if that is wat u shud cherish n wat u're pursuing


With love,
Ken

dreams II

Just browse through the job advertisement lisitng in mail box
so many, and I'm lazy to have a look
tired? yes
but i think lazy is the root cause why i choose to go FB and msn-ing, troll talking instead on jobs

sometime i ask myself, what's my direction
it's fine i stay here learn on handling problems, handling people
but how long should i stay here
ya, im afraid to step out coz i knw the pay might not be high, the life might be tougher
ha, pathetic, so timid at such a young age
after 3 ppl left since i moved in
wat's actually left is emptiness

time is late
tomorrow is another day
so routine, repetitive, and dull
some how my dreams are set
and dreams keep me alive, fuel me work my best to realised it
thts why when im struggling with boredom i think of my dreams
they have to realised! and even better, I will expand the list!

At the age of 30 years old

flew to 10 most wanted country across the world
became a fit metrosexual guy
having a memoir recording my life
having a soul devotion
play well a musical instrument
be good in a sports
find out wat i wanna do for the rest of my life
experienced the most fruitful engineering task
having 10 foreign country friends in my network

I'm suprise
to think that i had actually so many dreams!
it never actually formed in my life before
not until now when i wrote down
at this moment i knw, im not empty
i have dreams to power me!

God, lead me *wink

Dreams

it's another weary night

how many nights before were like this, tonight is no different than previous nights

tired....exhausted....sometime even stressed, depressed

i know i know

this is common 

as im fresh to this working world

it is common i find a bit hard to breath within this thin air around me

when i walk alone back from work   mostly along the dark alley

i feel insecure at times 

why im feeling this? should i be here? when should i go? where's my dream and courage?

questions that never been answered repeat in mind

i remind of my dream to travel around the world

sometime i think it is a silly dream...travel around world? i lack the money and time

and then i start to envy of pilots, fight attendants

reading blogs that travels around many places which i wish i have been there

if i never been here            my dreams will never been enlighten

being engineer, sorry i don't really feel i'm one at the moment, or maybe forever

where should i put myself, where i can feel happy? where i can be useful?

after years the answer is still not sought   and i continue to cheat myself   as a dumb

I need to find my courage hidden beneath myself      

to free myself from shyness and fear

to set myself free and go after my dream

纪念我们的友谊

这是一篇在毕业后所有的感想感想，我把我所有的心情都记录了下来，希望自己以后回头看还会记得那一天的每个心情。。。

四年   在毕业典礼后正式画上了句点
这几天里真真切切的回味了不少曾经熟悉的一切
从巴士站到校门口
从大学城到学生宿舍
从白天到夜晚
从准备 倒数 到上台 领证书 校歌奏起
时间快得感觉不到
即使身体是疲惫的  心却是在惊喜、高亢、感动、温暖的暖流中不断拍打着

人生像一班车
这些年有人涌上了这班闹哄哄的列车 有人陆陆续续到站了换另一班车 
也有人和我一样在同一班列车上的   见证这一切  来来去去
苦乐成败像是我们看到的风景，匆匆的过去了，也不断来着
我们变了  也长大了
庆幸 有这一班的好朋友还在学校让我能在短短的一天里重温旧梦
庆幸 有着一班记得我的人来到礼堂给我祝福 给我鲜花 一起合照
庆幸 有着一班和我从第一年欢呼到最后的兄弟姐妹
庆幸 有着无怨无悔   忙进忙出为我而来的家人
我的幸福
我的特别
我的成长  包含了你们的出现

人生有几个十年
庸庸碌碌  汲汲营营
和你们在一起嘻嘻哈哈的  互相扶持的的
谁能告诉我 还有多少时间
每当回忆起过去的开心和不开心
心里告诉自己：要更用心的经营现在的自己，让明天回味时是很有味道的
感谢你们，珍惜你们
用秒计算时间的人会好好计算时间的长度和效益
用心跳感受生命的人会好好的衡量自己活着的深度和意义
我希望自己好好过每一天，明天要比今天过得更好
更希望能在自己生命列车抵达终站前能更爱你们！

Big Wow, claps for me!

It's old fashioned to start in this way but it's really exciting to start on something new like this, wow!

Finally i can't hold my desire to scratch n write out my feelings, experience n those who r reading, yeah u might be the characters in my blog too. No way to run!

Another 13 minutes to 10/10/2010. That's the time i started my first ever blog. I promised to myself, rule number one in my blog will be to spread something positive to those who are reading this. I'm not a good story teller, so I think this might be a little dull at first, but I will improve as that's another reason I start to write here.

Frens out ther, tolong tolong ya, dun yawn when u read this, LOL =p